Parent & Carer Information

Children and young people who have been sexually abused can display a range of signs and symptoms. The signs of sexual abuse can vary depending on the child’s developmental stage, and the circumstances of the abuse – e.g. how frequent the abuse was, who inflicted the abuse and what kind of abuse happened.

While there are signs and symptoms that may indicate sexual abuse has occurred, it is important to note that the presence of some of the signs does not confirm that sexual abuse has occurred. Some children might show many of the signs and others might show none or few at all.

Potential signs of sexual abuse in children or young people may include:

• The child is quieter, more distant or clingier than usual.
• Unusual or new fears – e.g. being touched, being alone, being with a particular person or in a particular place.
• Difficulty with concentration or memory – e.g. zoning out, seems distracted.
• Changes in eating, sleeping or hygiene.
• Regressive behaviour – e.g. bed-wetting or soiling after being toilet-trained.
• Knowledge of sexual behaviour beyond their developmental age.
• Sexual themes in drawings, artwork, play, stories, etc.
• ‘Acting out’ behaviours – e.g. aggressive, destructive, avoiding school.
• ‘Acting in’ behaviours – e.g. depression, withdrawing from friends/family.
• Vague symptoms of illness – e.g. headaches, tummy aches.
• Vague questions or statements about topics such as secrets, adult behaviours or unusual ‘games’.

Above all else, it is important to pay attention to behaviour changes in your child and take them seriously if they disclose an experience of abuse.

Grooming describes the predatory stage of child sexual abuse and exploitation. Grooming is often undertaken to gain the trust of the child/young person and to establish secrecy and silence.

Grooming can occur in person or online. Grooming includes a range of behaviours and/or verbal or written communication with the child or young person. The goal is to facilitate sexual contact with the child/young person and prevent disclosure.

A child or young person’s parents/carers (or other significant adults) may also be groomed by the person intending to harm the child.

Grooming may take a number of forms:

• Building the child’s trust – giving the child gifts, treats, special attention, etc
• Favouritism – making the child feel more special than others
• Gaining the trust of the parent/carer – being seen as a close, caring and reliable friend of the family
• Isolation – taking the child away from family/friends to ensure secrecy
• Intimidation – threatening the child in order to keep the secret
• Testing the waters – ‘innocent’ touching that gradually builds to ‘accidental’ sexual contact
• Shaping the child’s perceptions – making the child feel confused, guilty or to blame for what has happened

It can be difficult to identify if a child is being groomed until after the sexual abuse has occurred, as this grooming behaviour can seem genuinely caring.

The internet is an easy place for people to hide in plain sight. An online predator will join any online platform that children use (e.g. social media, gaming apps, etc). Predators will create a profile that makes them seem like a young person. At the start, an online predator may pretend that they just want to talk to a child. They might ask lots of questions and seem very caring. Online predators lie.

Online grooming is illegal and is a form of child abuse. Online predators are usually looking for sexual interaction (e.g. nude photos, videos of sexual activity or meeting up in person). They might use tricks like ‘in person’ predators – building the child’s trust, giving gifts, normalising inappropriate behaviour, encouraging the child to keep secrets, or making the child feel guilty or to blame.

A child or young person who is being groomed online might feel embarrassed or scared. They might demonstrate behaviours similar to ‘in person’ sexual abuse:

• Quieter or more withdrawn than usual
• Difficulty with concentration or memory – e.g. zoning out, seems distracted
• Changes in eating, sleeping or hygiene
• Knowledge of sexual behaviour beyond their developmental age
• Sexual themes in drawings, artwork, play, stories, etc
• ‘Acting out’ behaviours – e.g. aggressive, destructive, avoiding school
• ‘Acting in’ behaviours – e.g. depression, withdrawing from friends/family
• Vague symptoms of illness – e.g. headaches, tummy aches

It is important that the child or young person has an adult they can talk to and get help.

For more information on online safety check out https://www.esafety.gov.au

Disclosure means revealing that abuse has occurred.

It can be very difficult to disclose sexual abuse. A child or young person might feel scared, guilty, ashamed, angry, confused or powerless when making a disclosure. These emotions are normal.

Making a disclosure often requires bravery. Your response to a disclosure can be the first step in stopping the abuse and protecting your child from further harm. It is important that a child or young person feels believed when they make a disclosure of sexual abuse. Believing the child will help them feel safe.

Here are some steps to follow if a child or young person discloses child sexual abuse.

DO

• Listen – allow the child to share the information in their own words.
• Affirm – let the child know you believe them and it is not their fault.
• Support – help the child cope with their feelings.
• Offer safety – let the child know you will do what you can to help them. This might include telling someone else who can keep them safe (e.g. the Police).
• Document – write down everything the child tells you. Use the child’s exact words as best you can.
• Act – follow your obligations and report as soon as practically possible to relevant authorities.

AVOID:

• Asking leading questions.
• Forcing a child to talk.
• Making promises to the child you are not able to keep.

Sometimes a child or young person’s behaviour or words may lead you to suspect or become concerned that the child is unsafe or being harmed.

In this situation, it is important that you:

• Do not frighten the child or younger person by asking confronting questions.
• Do not ask leading questions of the child or young person.
• Let the child or young person know that you are there for them if they ever need to talk.
• Record your concerns, including any behaviours you have observed or conversations you have had with the child or young person.
• Follow your obligations and report as soon as practically possible to relevant authorities.

There are mandatory reporting laws in Australia that require individuals to report known or suspected cases of child abuse or neglect to government authorities. The laws are not the same across all states and territories. Go to the Report Section on this page for State and Territory details.

It is important that when a child or young person makes a disclosure of sexual abuse, they are believed. Believing the child will help them feel safe.

If you believe a child is at immediate risk, contact emergency services on 000.

It is important that you do not confront the person who may have abused your child.

Confronting this person could create a potential risk for your child or young person. It can also interfere with the investigation.

Investigations and confrontations with the person responsible for the abuse should only be done by professional child protection workers or the police, even if they are someone you know really well.

It is the role or the authorities to investigate. Instead, contact the appropriate authorities with any concerns.

Sexual development starts at birth. It includes puberty, sexuality and sexual behaviour. Sexual behaviour is a normal part of childhood development and varies depending on a child’s age, social relationships, cultural background, and family experiences. It is common for pre-teens to become more curious about sex and sexuality as they develop.

Harmful sexual behaviour is sexual activity that is not appropriate for a child’s developmental age. Harmful sexual behaviour can range from concerning to serious and extreme. This behaviour can be harmful to the child or others.

If you think your child has engaged in harmful sexual behaviour, respond calmly. Do not ignore, dismiss or minimise the behaviour.

Children who engage in harmful sexual behaviour may not know that their behaviour is inappropriate. Remember – it is the behaviour that is harmful, not the child.

It is very important to get professional support for children who are engaging in harmful sexual behaviour. Professional support can help stop the behaviour and keep children safe. Children and young people who engage in harmful sexual behaviour can access free counselling support services from some organisations.

Sexual abuse can be physical, verbal or emotional in nature. It can include contact and non-contact activities. Sexual abuse can occur in person or online.

Sexual abuse may also be suspected based on a child displaying sexualised behaviour that is considered outside the range of age-appropriate sexual behaviour.

Here are some examples of when to report child sexual abuse:

• If you have concerns that sexual abuse may be occurring or has previously occurred
• If sexual behaviour problems or harmful sexual behaviours have been observed or disclosed
• If you have concerns that a child or adult may be at risk of harm to themselves and/or others
• A child or young person has disclosed that they are being or have been sexually abused
• If you believe on reasonable grounds that a child or young person is in need of protection.
• If an adult discloses that they have previously been a victim of child sexual abuse or exploitation. Note: if the victim/survivor is now an adult and they do not want to reveal the abuse to police and there is no current risk of harm to children, you do not have to report the abuse.

There are mandatory reporting laws in Australia that require individuals of certain occupations to report known or suspected cases of child abuse or neglect to government authorities. However, there are differences in the types of child abuse and neglect that must be reported across the states and territories of Australia. Child sexual abuse must be reported in all states and territories by those individuals whose occupations are mandated to report.

In addition to mandatory reporting, any person is lawfully entitled to make a report if they are concerned for a child’s welfare.

If you believe a child is at immediate risk, contact emergency services on 000.

To report suspected or known child harm, you will need to contact the Child Protection Agency of the State or Territory where the child resides. You should also report child sexual abuse to the local police. Below is a list of contact phone numbers and websites for each location.

Australian Capital Territory – Department of Community Services

• Phone: Child and Youth Protection Services on 1300 556 729 (mandatory reporters) or ACT Policing on 131 444 (general public)
• Website: https://form.act.gov.au/smartforms/csd/child-concern-report/ 

New South Wales – Department of Communities and Justice

• Phone: Child Protection Helpline on 132 111
• Website: https://www.facs.nsw.gov.au/families/Protecting-kids/reporting-child-at-risk

Northern Territory – Territory Families

• Phone: Child Abuse Hotline on 1800 700 250
• Website: https://nt.gov.au/law/crime/report-child-abuse

Queensland – Department of Child Safety

• After Hours: Call Child Safety After Hours Service Centre on phone freecall 1800 177 135 (Queensland only).
• Business Hours Regional Intake Phone Number
  • Brisbane and Moreton Bay – 1300 682 254
  • North Queensland – 1300 706 147
  • South East (Logan, Gold Coast and Bayside) – 1300 679 849
  • Far North Queensland – 1300 684 062
  • South West (Darling Downs) Toowoomba – 1300 683 390
  • South West (West Moreton) Ipswich – 1800 316 855
  • Sunshine Coast and Central Queensland – 1300 703 762
• Website:https://www.dcssds.qld.gov.au/our-work/child-safety/protecting-children/report-child-abuse

South Australia –  Department for Child Protection

• Phone: Child Abuse Report Line on 131 478
• Website: https://www.childprotection.sa.gov.au/reporting-child-abuse

Tasmania – Department of Communities Tasmania

• Phone: Advice and Referral Line on 1800 000 123
• Website: https://strongfamiliessafekids.tas.gov.au/  

Victoria – Department of Health and Human Services

• Phone: After Hours Child Protection Emergency Service on 13 12 78 or the relevant number below
• Business Hours Intake Phone Numbers:
  • North Division intake on 1300 664 977
  • South Division intake on 1300 655 795
  • East Division intake on 1300 360 391
  • West Division intake – metropolitan on 1300 664 977
  • West Division intake – rural and regional on 1800 075 599
• Website: https://services.dhhs.vic.gov.au/reporting-child-abuse

Western Australia – Department of Communities, Child Protection and Family Support

• Phone: Central Intake Team on 1800 273 889 or after hours call the Crisis Care Unit on (08) 9223 1111
• Website: https://www.dcp.wa.gov.au/ChildProtection/Pages/Ifyouareconcernedaboutachild.aspx  

For information on reporting online abuse check out https://www.esafety.gov.au

For voluntary reports of suspected child sexual abuse, you may be asked to provide information such as:

• The child or young person’s name, age, address, care arrangements, cultural identity.
• Your name, reason for reporting, relation to the child or young person.
• Details of the disclosure in the child’s own words.
• The context of the disclosure.
• When the alleged abuse occurred (if known).
• Any evidence of sexual abuse or online grooming.
• Behaviour and/or language of the child that indicates sexual abuse.
• Whether the suspected perpetrator has access to the child.
• Whether the child has a parent who is protecting and supportive of the child.
• Whether the child requires medical treatment / if medical treatment was administered.

Information required for mandatory reporting is different for each state and territory. See the Australian Institute of Family Studies for further information.

It can be very difficult to disclose sexual abuse. There are many reasons why a child or young person does not tell anyone about their abuse. They may feel scared or powerless, may not have the right words to describe what happened to them, or may not know the abuse was wrong. When a child or young person makes a disclosure they may feel ashamed, scared, angry, embarrassed, guilty, or a range of other emotions.

It is critical that you find the appropriate support for your child. Sometimes relevant authorities who have received a report of abuse (e.g. the Police) might make a referral to a support service. Alternatively, your general practitioner, or community agencies might make a referral on your behalf.

Some options to consider include:

• Counselling
• Family support services
• Protective behaviours education

Here are some support services that can help you find the right support for your child.

Bravehearts: 1800 272 831

Act for Kids: (07) 4847 0550

The Daniel Morcombe Foundation: 1300 326 435

Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277

Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800

It can be very difficult and overwhelming for a parent/carer to hear that their child has been harmed.

As a parent, you might experience your own distressing emotions like fear, anger, sadness and grief. You might feel at a loss as to how to help your child.

It is critical that you find the appropriate support for your child and yourself. Parents/carers can self-refer to some services. Sometimes relevant authorities who have received a report of abuse (e.g. the Police) might make a referral to a support service. Alternatively, your general practitioner, or community agencies might make a referral on your behalf.

There are a range of services that will provide you with support. Some support options to consider include:

• Counselling
• Parent support groups
• Family support services
• Protective behaviours education for you and your child

You can also contact the following services for support:

Bravehearts Information & Support Line is a toll-free phone service for those seeking advice or help related to child sexual abuse, including what to do if your child or someone you know has disclosed child sexual abuse. Contact Bravehearts’ Information and Support Line between 8.30am and 4.30pm, Monday to Friday AEST on 1800 272 831

Out of Hours Support

If you are in crisis and require AFTER HOURS assistance please call:

• Lifeline – 13 11 14
• 13YARN – 13 92 76
• Kids Helpline – 1800 55 1800
• Police Link – 131 444

The following websites were used for reference purposes:

• Australian Government Safety Commissioner (eSafety). Available at: https://www.esafety.gov.au/.
• The Australian Child Maltreatment Study (ACMS). Available at: https://www.acms.au/.
• eSafeKids Protective Behaviours, Perth Western, Australia. Available at: https://www.esafekids.com.au/.
• The Australian Parenting Website. Available at: https://raisingchildren.net.au/.

The following academic articles were used for reference purposes:

• Kerr, K. (2023) Private body parts: Why, when & how to start the conversation., eSafeKids. Available at: https://www.esafekids.com.au/post/private-body-parts-why-when-how-to-start-the-conversation.
• This is how you talk to kids about their private parts (2021) Today’s Parent. Available at: https://www.todaysparent.com/kids/school-age/this-is-how-you-talk-to-kids-about-their-private-parts/.

The following research article was used for reference purposes:

• Effective teaching strategies for child sexual abuse prevention: A rapid evidence check (no date a) Australian Catholic University (ACU). Available at: https://www.acu.edu.au/about-acu/institutes-academies-and-centres/institute-of-child-protection-studies/our-research/current-projects/effective-teaching-strategies-for-child-sexual-abuse-prevention. DOI: 10.26199/rdbq-xm46.